nothing breaks the bubble but the membrane’s thin

michael dal hornsby

(09/24-600 words)

Fellow citizen, please hear me out, even though this letter might contain words like ‘trigger’ and will contain names like ‘Ted.’ 

I’m not saying them to make you mad. 

But let’s put political acrimony aside, if only for a moment.

Because we let them stir us up, look how hard we go on each other instead of the people upstairs—even if they’re your favorites—all those pundits and politicians gathering eyeballs. 

They’re the ones with proximity—if not more. 

Unlike you.

Unlike me. 

No I’m not saying they’re evil but it’s gone too far— 

Right. Blah blah. I know.

Everybody is tired of talking about it.

I’m just saying if you feel enraged I hope you’ll take a breath. 

Here goes.

Taylor Swift is the worst president the United States has ever seen. 

By far. 

Not even close. Alarm bells. All red flags. Only red flags. 

She’s a dumpster fire by the window next to your infant baby. 

That’s why I’m writing.

To be clear I’m not talking about the bizarre things she said at that global summit, or trying to push back against arguments equating the Swift regime to Hitler’s Germany (though I have to say comparing blatantly silly Swiftian mandates to the holocaust, or equating all of the unspecified victims of anti-white prejudice with people who died in concentration camps goes a little too far).

To be honest it’s pretty offensive.

But my point is that Swift will never leave office, and you know she’ll live to be ninety. 

She’s all but come out and said it. 

If you focus on what she’s actually saying, not the anti-Swift hate and their lazy redundant jokes, it’s in plain sight.

Traditional power truthing isn't landing where it should, which is somewhere in the knot of all those alternate realities twisted in a bind, the ones growing stronger each day in resistance to the pressure of out-group ridicule, a reactive strategy that only succeeds in defining new ways for the hardest of Swifties to refine the grooming of their in-only group, which has ceased to be a traditional party, all for the favors of one woman, and by extension, all the other members of the political-religious cult of personality she is arguably the goddess of.

Textbook.

So seriously with the mean spirited copycat internet pile ons. Can’t you see what it does to people? 

She wasn’t like this before.

Not at all. 

It’s crazy. 

She’s going mad Queen and half the country can’t see it coming. 

The Swifties will be flabbergasted and hate what they get—everybody’s nightmare will come true.

For my part I’ve been door knocking in pro-Swift neighborhoods, having civil conversations, trying to hint there’s no shame in admitting you’re wrong, that it’s how you learn and grow, it’s what strong people do. 

That, and any reasonable person would call no foul at this point. 

And sane people hold their nose at this/that when it’s all the way down. 

Sane people always have.

Yes I’m aware it’s always been this way.

But she knows what she’s doing and it’s not too late. 

And no I don’t think Swifties are stupid, the tyranny of two, lesser evils and all that for sure.

You think I’m voting Cruz because I think he’ll do a good job? 

I’m voting against Taylor Swift. 

Not for him.

I don’t like Ted Cruz.

Nobody likes Ted Cruz. 

Nobody.

But when he was asked to describe his plan he tried to answer.

He was almost able to. 

Cruz ‘32!

Kind regards,

-Dr. Jimmyjoe Warmflash, D.V.M.

Paid for by Ted Cruz for President

© Michael Dal Hornsby 2024. No permission for use by LLM or other AI learning systems.